|> Fun >|
|Every joke is a tiny revolution. - George Orwell|
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club. - Dave Barry, quoted in Return of the Portable Curmudgeon
The Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republicans are the party of bad ideas. -- Lewis Black, HBO special
Will Rogers...used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper and pretend Im an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government. Mort Sahl
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with prayer and closes with an investigation. -- Will Rogers, N. Y. Times Magazine, 1/1/1956
It's an old, old trick of autocratic rule ...
good subjects must feel guilty. The guilt begins as a feeling of failure.
The good autocrat provides many opportunities for failure in the populace.
Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it. -- P. J. O'Rourke, quoted in Return of the Portable Curmudgeon
Political satire became superfluous shortly after Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace prize. -- Tom Leher
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government. -- Edward Abbey, quoted in Return of the Portable Curmudgeon
Congressman ___ was indicted for sexual misconduct and financial irregularities. Misusing sex and money. Boy, that guy can't decide if he is a Democrat or a Republican. -- Jay Leno
The President is aware of what is going on in Southeast Asia. That is not to say that there is something going on. -- Ron Ziegler (Nixon's press secretary)
The only thing worse than the Republicans and the Democrats is when these p***s work together. - Lewis Black, HBO special
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. - Hunter S. Thompson, The Great Shark Hunt, p. 53
tell a lie,
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings,
What American Republicans believe:
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
|Last modified 11/29/09; posted 11/6/04; original content © 2009, 2004John P. Nordin|